I wish….
That I knew how to tap dance
That I understood the appeal of hiking
That I was a better writer
That the Carol Burnett Show was still on the air
That Liza still held my hand when we walk on the beach
That I liked yogurt
That I could take a walk with my father one more time
That the day after the Oscars was a nationally sanctioned day of rest
That there was a sports team, any sports team, I was remotely interested in.
That I was more effective at my job
That I trusted my ability to sing
That I didn’t hyperventilate when it was time for costume measurements
That I trusted my friends not to care about my costume measurements.
That money didn’t worry me so
That I could pick up Liza every day at 2:10 like other moms
That I liked to cook
That I was better at confronting people who have hurt me
That peak foliage would last two months and winter only one
That I had found the courage to come out to my mother
That I had something more creative to write about
That I didn’t worry what the other moms at Liza’s school think of me.
That I was kinder in word and deed
That I knew what the cat found so fascinating under the living room chair
That I took the time to go explore the woods behind my house
That I was more serious of purpose
That I had Kelly’s wit
That I didn’t fall so in love with the character I’m playing. The goodbye will hurt.
That I had realized how loud that cool new clock in the living room would be.
That I could call my sister and tell her I was sorry for being such a bratty kid.
That I had a sense of style
That I could spend a long morning over coffee with my college roomie.
That I wasn’t so chicken
That my oldest nephew would realize how much his family loves him
That I could motivate myself to exercise.
That I hadn’t hurt my ex husband so deeply
That I didn’t love reality tv so much
That my brother lived closer
That I cared about statistics and surveys and studies
That I had been a better mom to Liza in her early years.
That I had the guts to tell my friend to get the help she needs before she dies.
That typing that sentence didn’t make me cry.
That I could live with the mistakes of my past.
That Dani was here to tell me we all have pasts and we all live with them.
That Kelly could really know how madly passionately desperately I love her.
That I didn’t have to stop writing this and go to work.
That we could have a national discourse without screaming at each other.
That the fact that I want to marry Kelly would be a non issue to everyone.
That I wasn’t such a sap and didn’t cry every time Liza goes on stage
That for today I can make at least one person laugh out loud.
That I will find one friend I haven’t seen in a long time and tell them I love them.
What are your wishes?
Have you ever watched Women’s Soccer, Katie? Just askin’!
Sometimes I wish for so many things and other times nothing at all. Unfulfilled wishes hurt like unrequited love – especially when watching a loved one suffer or when we’re down to $3 in our bank account.
I cry everytime my kids sing in church.
Great List, Katie.
I wish I could be with Max when he’s with his friends, when he is his happiest, funniest, and most alive. I miss him, a lot.
Good stuff, Katie.
You are an amazing person and writer Katie ! I love reading your blog and post’s ….
Thank you so much!
Funny how you and I – who go through the day with bountiful reserves of sarcasm – also cry so easily when our kids are in the spotlight. You should have seen me looking at those pictures of Alex catching that touchdown pass when I first found them.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t love sports so much because then I would have time for other interests like gardening. I *should* have been out in my yard yesterday, but instead I was the classic couch potato watching football!
Or maybe I’m just lazy as hell
)
Wow, there’s a lot in here, Katie. Hopefully some of it you can change, and the rest you can learn to live with, to let go, and move on. I’ll have to read them again a few times…and I might borrow your wonderful idea for my own blog. Although I’ll have to put a lot of time into thinking about it, to even begin to match this. Your writing is fine – cross that one off the list!!
I loved that! My wish is that you would see how wonderful you are and not worry about your weight or what other people think of you. Come to NJ. I’ll help you because I’m a loud, fat broad myself.
And I’m positive Kelly knows exactly how you feel about her.
Oh, and I forgot my other wish…. I also wish the Carol Burnett show was still on TV.
How funny is Kelly if you wish you had her wit? You my friend are the wittiest person I know! FYI, in my world, shopping is a sport.
Amazing blog. The world needs another Erma Bombeck. I’m visualizing you writing a column for all the world to see. I don’t want to discourage you but I also visualize me being thin and that hasn’t happened.
Keep up the good work.
Ohhh, I am so glad I found your blog today! Wonderful writing. I nearly sob every time Cassie is on stage or has a special occassion. I even cried in front of her friends when telling them about a story she wrote.
love your writing Katie!
I wish could get a moment’s glimpse of my kids at 25 to assure myself that whatever we go through right now, they will come out okay in the end.
I wish Carol Burnett was still on, too.
And I wish I could meet you in real life.
Oh, me too, Lisa! I just want to know that they’re going to be okay in the end.
Katie,
There is a lot I wish for too and I am going to write one of these lists you inspired me. I want you to know that I may not have known everything about your life when Liza was young but I want you to know that you were one of the BEST mother’s i had ever seen and man have i seen a lot of mothers. Did you forget the times you would come nurse her cuz she needed her mom? Your a beautiful person inside and out Katie, and I think at times you are too hard on yourself. Don’t worry about your costume size just worry about who you are and love with all you have!
Lisa – that meant the world to me — thank you so much — and love to you and your lovely family.
Thank you…….
I wish I had the guts to make such a list and I really wish that someone would take care of me just one damn time.
I totally wish that the Carol Burnett show was still on, loved that show.
I forgot to add my wishes….
I wish that I could get inside my son’s head and figure out the puzzle that is Daniel.
I wish that my kids will always be able to see themselves as I see them…
I wish I could figure out who I want to be.
I wish I could go back in time and slapped the teenage girl who looked so poorly upon herself.
I wish I could go to London.
Katie – I love your list of wishes, and I share some of them with you.
Right now, I wish….that I could help my wonderful, smart, capable, and talented very intense 18yo daughter just take a breath and realize that she doesn’t have to figure out her whole life YET.